Pardon me as I'm going to be a bit crude here for a few minutes but I've been thinking about something and I think you can probably relate. Have you ever noticed that... well... poots seem to be intelligent? I mean, not nice intelligent. I mean, out to get you, needy intelligent. Like when you're standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator and your stomach is all cramping up so you manage to squeeze one out quietly (hoping you haven't just soiled yourself because it's so hot you can't tell if it's heat or fluid) from a solitary place across from the elevator so that when it arrives you can get in the elevator and leave it dangling there behind. Only, when the elevator arrives and you cross the 15 feet of space, after the doors shut with another passenger or passengers you realize that the petty little poot has not only clinged to you and followed you onto the elevator but it blossoms into a cascade of aromatic effervescence that threatens to make everyone vomit before the next floor.
What's up with that? Come on!
And why do they always have to make noise just as someone's walking by? You sneak them out all day long with no one the wiser but as soon as someone walks by, it has to reverberate like a tuba.
Dagnabit!
These are just too convenient to be coincidence. There's surely a higher intelligence working here bent on detroying the fabric of pootlite society. Rise up against your opootsers and demand an end to their noxious and naughty schemes!
Did I say that out loud?
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Even the third time around, this post makes me cry with laughter.
ReplyDeleteYou are a magnificent punster. And quite an observant pootster.